Abusers
There is no profile of a typical abuser. Though we would like to believe that abusers somehow look different, speak differently or act differently, the fact remains that they are more like us than they are not like us. They live amongst us and are most often known to and trusted by the child and her family. They come from various backgrounds and are members of every race, religion, profession, and socio-economic group. They can be older children, adolescents or adults. Men who sexually abuse children are our fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins, grandfathers, neighbours and other respected members of the family and community. It is not possible to tell abusers from non-abusing people unless you know they are abusing.
Abuser tactics
Child sexual abuse is a premeditated act and not an impulsive one. It is not something that happens out of the blue, but involves intent, planning and ongoing evaluation of the risks on part of the abuser. Many abusers are in fact known to abuse more than one child. An abuser follows a careful process of choosing the victim, starting and continuing the abuse and keeping it secret. Here are some of the tactics he uses:
- Building trust of the child and/or her parents
- Showing favouritism to the child
- Isolating the child from others in the family and outside who may believe or support the child
- Creating confusions about trust, okay feelings and behaviours
- Getting the child used to touch by the abuser
- Sexualising the child’s world by sexual talks and games
- Developing and maintaining secrecy by emotional blackmail, threats, bribery, blaming the child
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