Adult women survivors
Sexual abuse in childhood can have severe consequences in an adult woman’s life. These permeate into every area of her life and affect the ways she thinks, acts, feels and behaves. However, since the abuse does not happen in a vacuum but in combination with other life experiences, these effects can also be identical to those of early developmental setbacks. The duration and severity of the abuse, family dynamics, the child’s relationship with the abuser, the presence or absence of support are some of the factors that determine the impact of the abuse.
How it affects them
Emotional reactions: Predominantly shame, guilt and a sense of loss and betrayal. Blame themselves for being abused and not being able to stop it. Anger around abuse directed at themselves or elsewhere, rather than at the abuser. Feelings could also be numbed out. Show up in anxiety and panic attacks, depression, phobias, body aches and other ailments. Severe abuse can lead to personality disorders.
Self-perceptions: Believe they are worthless, have very low self-esteem. Are unable to take compliments, feel undeserving of care and attention. Appear to be confident on the surface but perceive themselves as not good enough. Need to constantly prove themselves. All this can often lead to further victimisation.
Self-harm: Get into self-destructive behaviours in order to cope. Some of these behaviours are overeating, depriving themselves of food, bingeing, self-mutilation, suicide attempts, and alcohol and drug abuse.
Powerlessness: Feeling of being powerless and not in control over their surroundings. Therefore use a variety of ways to be in charge. Could be super organised, super alert, creating crises, late coming, hyper active and vigilant
Physical Effects: Stomach disturbances, frequent illnesses, gynecological problems, aches and pain.
Sexual Effects: Sex associated with feelings of pain, shame and humiliation. Can lead to avoidance of sex, difficulties in getting aroused or reaching an orgasm. May experience flashbacks of the abuse during sex. Can get into indiscriminate sexual activity and also use their bodies as a way to get power, love and attention.
Relationship problems: Feel threatened, withdraw from or are uncomfortable in close relationships. Unable to form intimate relationships or become extremely dependent and clingy. Have difficulty in judging how trustworthy other people are, can trust too little or too much. Makes them vulnerable to further exploitation of themselves and their children.
How they are perceived
Women who display some of these symptoms are often labeled. They can be looked upon as promiscuous or ‘loose’, ‘frigid’ or undersexed, too fat, too thin, greedy, control-freaks, codependent, sickly, messed up, panicky, overprotective, hysterical, aggressive, flighty and scattered. It must be remembered however that women use various ways to cope with the pain of sexual abuse and though these ways are not always healthy, they can definitely be changed when care and support are provided.